why am i still single, you ask?

Generally, I avoid this topic like the plague. But it’s been coming up more frequently these days and I’m feeling the need to make an official statement.

Because the masses cry, “Deb, why are you still single?”

Okay, so maybe not the masses… but I do get that question more times than I care to admit. Granted, sometimes I’m flattered, like when people say they’re shocked I’m still single. But then there’s always that follow-up question… “So… why is that?”

Friends, Family, Countrymen. I wish I had an answer that was satisfying to all.  But I don’t.  In past blogs, I’ve tried to wrap things up with a neat bow.  I not only wanted to encourage others who are in my same position, but I wanted to provide an answer. And though I still stand by what I wrote… I don’t think it’s as complicated as I may have made it out to be.

It’s true. I am single. And I have never been married. Sure, I’ve come close a couple of times. I even returned an engagement ring once. But “sealing the deal” just hasn’t happened. And I realize, that as a forty-something year old woman, I’m somewhat of an anomaly. And I’m okay with that… I mean, it could be worse.

Back to the topic: Why am I still single?  What a great question. Often my friends try to answer it for me. “You’ve spent too much of your life working in a career that isn’t really conducive to meeting someone.” “You’ve just not met Mr Right.” “Maybe you’re being too picky.” Or my favorite, when they blame the men, “They just don’t know what they’re missing!”

But regardless… here is the only answer I have:

Because so far, God has deemed it so.

Hard to argue with, I know. Hard to blame-shift or point an accusing finger.

Reality is, it doesn’t matter what my career is or who I have met or haven’t met and it doesn’t matter if I’m picky or not.  If I’m living in a dung hut in the middle of the Maasai Mara and God decided he wanted me to meet someone, He would make it happen.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not advocating hiding or running from love and seeing if God will still make it happen.  If that’s where you are then I have a couple of counselor friends I can recommend to you. Seriously.

Love is wild and wonderful and illusive and consuming. It can cause you to be fabulous one day and do something utterly stupid the next. But we were created for this very thing. Flawed as it may be… for now. The only Perfect Love out there is from the One who created us. Everything, and everyone, here on earth is merely a foretaste of what’s to come one day. So for now… we can only stumble through it all… merely praying and hoping to receive AND give grace generously.

So why am I still single? Because God has deemed it so.

For now.

Whether He changes my status here on earth or whether I must wait a little longer… I could be in no better hands.

And that, I wouldn’t change for the world.